Navigating menopause can feel like an unpredictable journey, one filled with physical and emotional twists and turns that few women truly expect. Carol King knows this all too well. She’s a Barbados-based menopause advocate whose frank, relatable, and often humorous approach to discussing menopause has resonated with thousands of women worldwide. But Carol’s path to becoming a social media sensation in the menopause community wasn’t planned—it came out of necessity.
“I started experiencing symptoms in my late 30s,” Carol shared. “But it wasn’t until I was around 42 that things got really bad. Fainting, panic attacks, itching—I felt like I was falling apart.”
Carol’s journey through menopause was marked by a wide range of debilitating symptoms that left her feeling lost and isolated. She experienced fainting spells, sudden drops in blood pressure, frequent urinary tract infections, panic attacks, and severe itching—symptoms that puzzled doctors and left her searching for answers. In her late 30s, she began suffering from recurring Urinary Tract Infections (UTIs), and by her early 40s, more intense symptoms like fainting and heart palpitations took hold. Despite countless visits to specialists, it took years before perimenopause was identified as the root cause of her health issues. This lack of early recognition by medical professionals fueled Carol’s determination to learn more and share her story, helping other women recognize and address their own menopause symptoms.
Despite visiting several specialists and spending thousands of dollars on medical care, none of the doctors suggested that menopause might be the cause. It took eight more years and countless visits to different specialists before her doctor casually dropped the “M-word”—menopause.
The Frustration of Being Unheard
Carol’s experience is not uncommon. Many women, especially women of color, often find themselves overlooked and dismissed when presenting menopause symptoms to healthcare providers.
“It was terrifying,” Carol recalls. “My blood pressure would just drop suddenly, and I would faint. I went five months without being able to work because of it. And still, not one doctor mentioned my hormones or menopause.”
She remembers feeling angry and isolated during this period, realizing that she had to become her own advocate to understand what was happening to her body.
It wasn’t until her mid-forties, after countless tests that ruled out other conditions, that her gynecologist mentioned menopause during her annual wellness visit. This revelation, though long overdue, gave Carol something she had been lacking: a direction.
“Once he said menopause, he did me a favor, even though he was useless in my treatment,” she reflects with a touch of humor. “It gave me a reason to channel my thoughts and energy. I went away and started to find out everything I could about menopause because I realized I knew nothing.”
Self-Advocacy and Building Knowledge
From that point on, Carol became a researcher. She spent about a year educating herself about menopause, understanding the symptoms, treatments, and most importantly, how to advocate for her own health. Her journey was not without its challenges. Living on a small island, there were limited resources and specialists who understood menopause and its complexities.
“It took a while before I found a menopause specialist here in Barbados,” Carol says. “But when I did, it was a game-changer.”
She now sees a Black Bajan doctor who had trained in the UK and opened a clinic specifically for menopause. This sense of being seen and understood was transformative for Carol. Her new doctor not only provided the treatment she needed but also supported Carol in other areas of life, including introducing her to strength training to support her physical and mental health.
Turning Pain into Power
While Carol had finally begun to receive the right support, she was still grappling with how little women, particularly women of color, knew about menopause.
“I was so angry,” she admits. “I’d been struggling with this for years, and no one had said anything. I grew up around strong women, but not one of them ever mentioned menopause.”
This frustration fueled her mission: to prevent other women from enduring years of unnecessary suffering in silence.
Carol started sharing her story on social media, initially through blog posts. She describes it as “just a way to get some of this stuff out of my head so I didn’t have to walk around with it all day.” But when she shared her experiences on Facebook, she was met with a flood of “me toos” from other women who had been struggling with similar issues. That’s when she realized just how much this conversation was needed.
“I discovered TikTok around 2020, and I decided to talk about menopause,” Carol says. Her first video on menopause went viral, garnering over 1.4 million views. “It blew my brain completely,” she laughs. “I read every single comment because I wanted to know how people were reacting. There wasn’t a single negative comment. That’s when I leaned into my personality, which is one of always laughing.”
Finding Joy in the Journey
Through her social media platforms, Carol uses her signature humor to tackle topics like hot flashes, anxiety, and the emotional upheaval that often accompanies menopause.
“If you see me and spend five minutes with me and I’m not laughing at something, call an ambulance. I’m probably already dead,” she jokes.
Her lighthearted yet honest approach has struck a chord with her followers, many of whom see themselves in her stories.
She has also launched a virtual community called “The Menopause Lounge,” where women can connect, share their experiences, and gain support. For Carol, this space is about more than just sharing information; it’s about providing a sense of solidarity and comfort.
“I want women to not feel as in the dark and as lonely as I did. I just want to stop the suffering,” she says earnestly.
Embracing Change and Building Resilience
When asked about how she managed to get through the years of struggle largely on her own, Carol attributes it to her self-reliance and resilience.
“Leaving home at 19 taught me to rely on myself. Even if I’m ill, I can still depend on myself,” she explains.
But she’s quick to point out that she doesn’t recommend going through menopause alone.
“Get support, get everyone on board,” she advises.
Today, Carol is an advocate for open conversations about menopause. Her presence on Instagram and TikTok, where she has amassed tens of thousands of followers, serves as a beacon for other women navigating the often confusing and isolating waters of menopause. She speaks candidly about her use of hormone therapy, its benefits, and its costs.
“HRT changed everything for me,” she says, though she acknowledges that not everyone can access or afford it.
The Importance of Seeking Joy
Carol also emphasizes the importance of seeking joy and laughter during this phase of life.
“Black women, we don’t do joy enough,” she reflects. “If you’re not caring for someone young, you’re caring for someone old. We need to actively seek out things that make us laugh, that bring us joy. It helps so much.”
Her final piece of wisdom comes in the form of a mantra that she lives by: “Nothing changes if nothing changes.” It’s a reminder that change starts with us. By sharing her story with vulnerability, transparency and humor, Carol King is not just advocating for change; she’s embodying it. And in doing so, she’s lighting the path for countless other women to follow.
You can read more about Carol’s story in her new book, Are You There, God? It’s Me, In Menopause: An Unfiltered, Honest Guide to Midlife Hormones, Health, and Happiness.
Co-authored with Dr. Ashley Alexis, ND, the book will hit shelves (physical and virtual) February 18, 2025. It’s available for preorders now.
Of course, you can become a part of Carol’s community today by joining The Menopause Lounge. You can follow her on TikTok and Instagram.
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