Geegee, 52, knows how to switch things up. Working at clinics and hospitals through the pandemic, she lost her way – and her sexual drive — when vaginal dryness set in. An avowed enthusiast of HRT, she says it changed her life, “I thought it was some kind of sorcery.”
Was it a difficult decision to take the hormone therapy?
No, because I was assured that I would be a good candidate. And frankly, I jumped on it. It felt like a ray of hope.
So you felt properly informed?
I did. At 52, I was shut down sexually. I have a 20-year good sexual relationship with my partner that I was intent on saving and it had become excruciating to have sex. The doctor was very supportive and listened to my concerns. She reassured me that we would find a way to get back my sex drive.
Did you suggest the HRT to your doctor?
No. I knew I was approaching menopause but I didn’t understand this pain. She explained the whole process to me in a way that was clear and digestible. The inflammation, the loss of tissue and that my vaginal lining was thinning. I trusted her completely.
So you had heard of HRT?
Yes, but not with this full explanation or how it could address my vaginal dryness. Nobody ever said: “Ok, You are going to dry up.” (Laughed)
This is something my mom should have told me about.
You heard nothing from your mother – about this, about menopause – and the changes to your body?
Nothing. The only advice she gave me was, once you start menstruating – keep your legs closed ‘cause you will get pregnant. And that is IT.
So you thought you were alone with this condition?
Yes. And I wondered if it had to do with age — but I know people who are in their 80s who are sexually active. I couldn’t understand why sex had begun to hurt more than when I gave birth – the dryness, the soreness… It felt very isolating.
And you have a female gynecologist?
Absolutely. I had a couple of bad experiences with my male gyno. Now, all of my doctors are women.
Can you share some of the negative experiences?
Well, I felt very embarrassed to tell him too much. And when I did mention it — he just handed over some KY jelly. I knew that KY was not the answer to my problem… I have a female crew for all of my medical needs now.
Did you have fears about taking the hormones?
When I left my doctor’s office, I did plenty of investigating. But I was confident that the tests we took validated this therapy. So at that point, I was informed and desperate. (Laughs)
Were there any other symptoms?
Yes — to quote my partner — I “smelled like a dude.”
Wha?
Yup. I’m smelling pretty funky. Under the arm pit. It took away my self-esteem with my man. I assured him, I may smell like a dude but I am still all woman. (Laughs)
All of this is hard on relationships.
Yes. But he is nearly 70. And so, he understands how the body shifts with age.
So, this condition did disrupt your life in many ways.
Yes. More than sexually.
It disrupted my moods. I’d get snarky much quicker — with my son and with my man.
And the HRT took care of that too?
I’d say it kind of smoothed everything out. I felt much more even… I had no idea that it would do all of this.
What are your symptoms now?
I am only 6 months into the treatment — but I feel sexual again. I think it might be some kind of sorcery. But I’ll take it.
Well, you know it’s not sorcery. You are in the healthcare field, right?
I am a phlebotomist. I’m sure you have met lots of us — we stick needles in your arm, take your blood pressure, etc.
Now I do a little work as backup on sets. During the pandemic, it was rough working in the clinic – with all of the death and destruction – it wore me down. So now I do both. And set work’s a lot more fun.
What else do you do for yourself?
I exposed myself to herbs, to detoxing and other lifestyle fixes — less booze, more antioxidant tea which helps with my mood — less late nights, more sleep. I believe these changes, combined with the HRT have shifted me completely. And my second job is a fun outlet, which helps too.
What would be your words of wisdom to other women going through this?
Talk about it! There is so much shame Involved. If I had one woman to share this with me I’d have saved myself at least 5 years of low self-esteem and pain — I’d know that I wasn’t alone.
